They say there are few things in life that makes you happier and more beautiful than having confidence, and it is so true! Confident people draw others to them like a magnet – they are great to be around and captivating to watch. Why? Because we all want a piece of it.
Confidence isn’t always easy to have though, and as women we are definitely more susceptible to a lack of it.
There are times when we doubt what we are doing, how we do it and even sometimes who we are. For example, have you ever:
*Not only brushed off a compliment given to you, but followed it up with a negative to the positive?
*Thought or said you couldn’t do something, but then had a go and not only done it, but done it well?
*Achieved something you were proud of but said out loud that it wasn’t very good or played it massively down?
*Thought you were not doing well enough in life, work, at parenting, at dressing, at social media etc?
*Compared yourself to others and thought they were doing better?
Yes? I thought as much! Don’t worry you are not alone but the question is WHY on earth are we feeling this way?
Is it not wanting to sound cocky or like a brag? Or is it a genuine lack of self value? I worry it is the latter, especially when we are each incredible, valuable people with our own strengths and weaknesses that we should be confident about.
So how about it? Shall we try to inject a little confidence in to our every day?
“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all, in which case you fail by default.” J. K. Rowling
9 simple ways to boost your confidence
Say thank you to compliments
Next time someone gives you a compliment, look them in the eye, smile and say thank you. No buts, no put downs, no brushing it off. Simply acknowledge the fact that you received a compliment and that you deserved it!
Compliment other people
Sometimes feeling confident in yourself is as simple as knowing you are a good person. A person that people like to know and have part of their lives. One thing that makes me feel good is voicing the compliments about other people that I have in my head. It is so easy to think someone looks great or that they handled a situation well but then to just keep it to yourself. Try giving three people honest compliments every day…and make one of those to a complete stranger – it will boost your confidence as well as theirs.
Don’t fall in to the comparison trap
Do you ever find yourself looking sideways and thinking the girl next to you is doing better? I bet she is thinking the very same thing about you. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses and people are naturally better in some areas of life than others. That is OK! Show me one person who has it all figured out? They don’t exist. So don’t compare yourself to someone else – they will be having struggles of their own, it might just be different struggles to you.
Be the person you wish you were
A lack of self confidence often comes from feeling that you are not the version of yourself that you would like to be, or thought you would be. The antidote to this is to fake it until you make it.
I have heard countless super successful people say that to get their success, they first had to pretend they already had it.
Act like it, dress like it, and believe that you deserve it. It will come to you.
Believe in yourself
And I mean really, truly believe in your own abilities because if you don’t who else is going to? You don’t need to have done something before to have confidence in your abilities. Think back to all the times you did something for the first time – you may not have got it spot on the first time, but you learnt and improved and if you can believe in your ability to give things a go, to learn and improve then you will be unstoppable.
Let’s face it, just look at how far you have come already, what you have already achieved. You should be skipping with confidence because you are AMAZING!
Start a journal of your achievements
Struggling to think what you have done that is worth feeling confident about, and find it even harder to voice these aloud for fear of being thought of as bragging? Try writing down what you have achieved every day, from the small tasks such as washing your hair to making a delicious dinner or doing the ironing, you will soon start to see just how much you achieve every day!
It also helps to be grateful for the things you have. Read how I approach gratitude and living life to the full every day.
Break your big goals down in to smaller tasks
Do you feel like you have to achieve something big in order to believe in yourself? But that big thing just seems SO far away? Break down all the small tasks to get there and then celebrate achieving each of those.
Wear clothes that make you feel confident
I think everyone has an outfit that they feel good in. It might be something special, or it could be more of an everyday item that always ignites a feeling of ‘yeh, I’ve got it today’! When you feel like you need something to boost your confidence, pull out that item. For me it tends to be bolder, brighter colours and patterns (it is always these things than get me a load of unexpected compliments) and this H&M dress pictured is a perfect example.
Do a little of what you are afraid of
And finally, confidence comes when you know that whatever life throws at you, you can deal with it. To help you feel that from day to day, do a little of what you are afraid of. Scared of public speaking? Offer to chair the next team meeting. Scared of heights? Climb to the highest point you can. Scared you are falling behind the household duties? Schedule in half an hour every day for a week and get back on top of it! Facing your fear will undoubtedly boost your confidence!
All photography by Marlene Lee
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Whats your view?
Do you suffer with a lack of self confidence from time to time?
Do you already do any of these tricks to boost your confidence?
I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.